Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Review: Treasure Chest of Horrors (2012)

First I´d like to thank James Cullen Bressack for contacting me and providing me with a screener.
Treasure Chest of Horrors is a no-budget short film anthology consisting of four stories.
ROTTEN CLASSMATES written and directed by Doug Wash. nerdy student is constantly by a quartet of punks... however, there's a kid sitting in the back of the library who just can't have such behavior - so he turns into Gasmask Man. Awful acting, badly shot and edited. Some amateurish gore fx but it at least offers some unique kills, hthe high light being a characters getting his head crushed by a mop wringer. No T & A in this.
VAMPIRE`S LUST written and directed by Shawn C. Phillips and M. Kelley. One day when walking home, Tobias (M. Kelley) is bitten by a vampire bat, which - duh - turns him into a vampire. He soon wants to suck the blood of his best friend, with whom he usually hangs out to make horror movies...  Really bad acting, badly shot and edited. The make-up fx are ridiculous. No T & A in this.
RESIDENT EMO written and directed by Doug Wash. Ernie is your typical emo who seems to be living for nothing other than cutting himself. Then he cuts himself with a haunted blade and turns into a zombie, and soon he zombifies the entire emo-population in school. Abyssmaly bad acting, badly shot and edited. The comedy is of the pee and poo variety and fails miserably. It´s gory but the gore fx is VERY amateurish, they even use spaghetti as guts... It looks like it was made by a kid, it makes me think that Andreas Schnass probably isn´t as bad as I thought all this time. No T & A in this. Made by kids for kids?
MAMA, IT`S A MANNEQUIN written and directed by Doug Wash. For her 18th birthday, mom  buys Patty a mannequin - but the mannequin appears to be cursed, and starts killing people at Patty's birthday party... Awful acting, badly shot and edited. No gore to speak of even if it has a few violent moments, the high light being when a character gets his balls ripped off. No T & A in this.
This review is based upon a passwordprotected online screener provided by James Cullen Bressack.
Rating: 0 out of 7. This was just awful, awfully bad. I love independent flicks, I love low budget flicks so that´s not a problem but I do have a problem when they don´t even try to make an effort, don´t even seem to have a script, when they don´t even make an effort to hire competent actors. This was a pain to sit through, a tedious experience and as the flaws are so many I won´t even make an effort to name them all. I can´t find any quality or entertainment value in Treasure Chest of Horrors, it´s just horrid . After this I´ll stay away from the intentional bad flicks for a long time.


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