Thursday 31 January 2013

DVD review: Tag der Teufel (2007)


After a long study abroad journalist Penelope Jones ends up back in her hometown. The first job is just around the corner, as a mental patient escapes from a mental hospital and suddenly gruesome murders shake the town. Tag der Teufel is written and directed by Elmar Weihsmann and Stefan Peczelt. The acting vary in quality. The camerawork and editing is pretty good but there are neither atmosphere nor tension and the kills are completely unspectacular. The soundtrack is pretty good. The pacing is off and the flick is actually pretty boring but towards the end, the pace increases a little. The bodycount is pretty good but gorehounds will inevitably be disappointed as there is only one scene that is gory, for the most part we only see the blood flowing through the mouths of the victims. There is no T & A in this.
This review is based upon the Austrian region 2 DVD release from Illusions Unlimited Films.
Rating: 1 out of 7. Tag der Teufel is boring, it doesn´t even have a minimum level of atmosphere and excitement. There is hardly any gore and no T & A.

/JL

DVD review: Flesh Eaters from Outer Space (Video 2005)


Something strange is afoot in the suburbs of New Jersey! Carnivorous entities from out of this world have invaded the Garden State, seeking out the tastiest dish in the entire universe: human flesh! Now only a gang of burnt-out metalheads and one sexy psychic starlet can stand up to the alien invaders devious plans of world domination and human consumption! But can anyone stop the bloody weath of flesh eaters from outer space? Flesh Eaters from Outer Space is written and directed by Warren F. Disbrow. I must mention that IMDB wrongly lists this as being made 2005, this is possibly due to the fact that Troma Entertainment released it on DVD that year. It was actually first released on VHS in the 1980s and  re-released in the 1990s before Troma released it. Plenty of bad acting, the camerawork and editing is okay (yup, I´m probably being very generous right now). The soundtrack is decent. The pacing is pretty good. It´s gory, the quality of the amateurish gore fx varies but there are some pretty nice stuff here, high lights include when a male character gets his penis ripped off, a woman getting her head torn open and the scene when two cops get killed. Please note that there are some off screen kills. It´s a uglylooking monster but I love it, partly due to the fact that it´s a man in suit monster design. There is even some minaturework in some scenes. Around 46 minute mark we get some nice gratuitous T & A (including full frontal nudity) during a prolonged showerscene. And a little bit later we get more T & A as one of the actresses takes a bath.
This review is based upon the region all (Region 0) DVD release from Troma Entertainment.
Rating: 2½ out of 7. Flesh Eaters from Outer Space is yet another movie that I have some problem to give a fair review as it isn´t very good or well made but in my opinion it´s very entertaining. We get a ferocious monster, gore and T & A.  

/JL

Tuesday 29 January 2013

News update: Hate Crime (Official posters released)




Fans have eagerly awaited release details on HATE CRIME, although there are still none yet we do have some posters for the film!
Attached are 5 official posters for the critically acclaimed AWARD WINNING found footage home invasion film HATE CRIME. This is the second feature film by 20 year old James Cullen Bressack, his first being the amazon horror best seller MY PURE JOY which was released last year. Despite its name, Hate Crime is a labor of love from a dedicated group of people looking to make something different. Hate Crime is a violent, realistic portrayal of one of our worst nightmares, being attacked in our home. The movie has been extremely well received by over 80+ reviewers, including some of the biggest reviewers in the horror film community.
This film has fought alot of controversy due to it's extreme content, almost being banned in the UK, being pulled off the screens at festivals before even showing due to content and theatre management not willing to show the movie the festival booked, and has faced some trouble finding distribution since the shooting in CT. We actually lost a distribution deal that was on the table due to that horrible tragedy. As Sinfullcelluloid.com put it: "...the film has won several awards and has a strong following. It has over 80 great reviews and no distribution. They even had an offer hold off the table the last minute." for the full article about HATE CRIME's shocking distribution woes please visit:
http://www.sinfulcelluloid.com/2013/01/for-love-of-hate-crime-to-strong.html#.UQWKwHaxJLc .

Here is the official SYNOPSIS:
"A jewish family, just arrived in a new neighborhood, are recording their youngest son's birthday celebrations on video when their home is suddenly invaded by a bunch of crystal-meth-crazed neo-nazi lunatics… '







/JL















 

DVD review Someone's Knocking at the Door (2009)


Six college classmates are on a drug - and sex filled weekend. When one of them is brutally murdered, it soon becomes clear that one by one they are being stalked by a unknown serialkiller/rapist. Yup, I´ve edited the synopsis down to a minimum in an effort to avoid spoilers. Someone's Knocking at the Door is written by Roham Ghodsi, Rosie Roberts and Chad Ferrin who also is the director. The acting is good. It´s profesionally shot and edited, this flick looks great. The soundtrack is great. Besides quirky characters and situations we also get some dark humour spliced into the flick. The pacing is good.  There are a couple of brutal rapescenes in the movie that are not for the squemish or the politically correct and I guess I should mention that the killer is a homosexual psychopath and his modus operandi is to anally rape his victim to death. I´ll confess that I found myself left with my jaw on the floor thinking "wtf, did they just?" It´s gory flick with practical make-up fx and there are some surreal stuff on screen but if you go in expecting a gorefeast you´ll probably gonna be disappointed. There is plenty of T & A, sex and rapescenes in this, including full frontal female nudity but there is also male nudity.
This review is based upon the region free (region 0) DVD release from Tombstone Media / X-Cess, it´s unrated and both english and german audio is available
Rating: 7 out of 7. Someone's Knocking at the Door is awesome! It mixes dark comedy, horror and some truly surreal moments. Someone's Knocking at the Door gets my highest recommendations, be sure to check it out but beware that you will probably either love or hate it.

/JL




Monday 28 January 2013

DVD review: Project Genesis (2011)


In 2019 ... The world has changed. As people die, they living dead. Worex and Smith fly with the behavioral biologist Dr. Stone to Earth. At the same time in a church wedding chapel back in the middle of the kill zone. The leader of the Death Zone has chosen two women and wants to marry them but things don´t go as planned.. Project Genesis is written by Martin Hentschel and Jochen Taubert who also is the director. Now this might be little bit complicated but I´ll try to explain, this is a sequel to Oliver Krekel´s Crossclub: The Legend of the Living Dead (1999) and uses plenty of footage from that but it also has footage from a Stefan Svahn flick. The shifts between new and older footage are very easy to detect, not only in picture quality but in many other ways. For instance, the new scenes by Jochen Taubert looks like sh*t, bad acting, badly shot and edited and there is a heavy reliance on computer rendered gore which looks atrociously bad. The scenes from Oliver Krekel´s at least features some practical fx. The true highlight of this horrific example of inept filmmaking is the footage from a Stefan Svahn movie which features the best shot scenes, the best make-up design and good practical gore fx. Sadly the Stefan Svahn scenes only make up about 8 minutes of this...... There´s intentional comedy that just falls flat. During the first 50 minutes we get extremely bad computer rendered fx but then, out of the blue, we suddenly get some really good practical stuff courtesy of the Stefan Svahn footage. There´s no T & A in this, but a couple of the women run around in lingerie throughout the whole movie and the cameraman sure seems fond of filming the ass of especially one of the actresses.
This review is based upon the region 2 DVD release from Astro Records & Filmworks, it´s german language only.
Rating: 0½ out of 7. Project Genesis is my first exposure to filmmaker Jochen Taubert and OMG it wasn´t a good one. This flick belongs on the garbagedump, I can´t believe I actually paid to see this. This gets half a point solely based upon the footage from Stefan Svahn, I´m just wondering, is it bought, borrowed or stolen?....

/JL

Sunday 27 January 2013

DVD review: Deadhunter: Sevillian Zombies (Video 2003)



The Dead Hunters is ordered by the Vatican to Seville to eradicate the zombies, to clean up the city and to make it safe again. There is just a huge problem, the annual fair is imminent, and the crowds would be a feast for the undead. Although the mayor of the city is aware of the danger, he wants the show to take place at all costs. The inhabitants of Seville can only hope and pray that the Dead Hunters bring the city back under control in time. Deadhunter: Sevillian Zombies is written, produced, edited and directed by Julián Lara who also plays one of the characters on the movie. The camerawork and editing is bad. The pacing is pretty decent but the actionscenes are uninspired and boring. They didn´t even have money to do some computer rendered muzzle flashes for the scenes where the characters fire their guns, which happens a lot, instead they just shake their toyguns to give the impression that they are shooting. There isn´t much gore, the gore fx and zombie-make-up design is amateurish and consist mostly of faces painted with green and grey colors. There is no T & A in this but some might get a kick of the prolonged scene featuring a male stripper in the beginning of the movie.
This review is based upon the region free (Region 0) DVD release from Euro Video, it has german and spanish audio.
Rating: 0 out of 7. Deadhunter: Sevillian Zombies is a silly, horrible and sad display of inept filmmaking. It isn´t even trash it´s just crap... It was a tedious experience to sit through this, don´t spend your hardearned money on this....

/JL

Saturday 26 January 2013

DVD review: Deadly Nam (2006)


At the height of the Vietnam War, the experienced squad Sergeant Frank Castle (Hendrik Thiele) and his men are sent on a top-secret reconnaissance mission into a previously unknown sector. Their mission: to assess the Vietcong activity and explore the unknown terrain. But what at first sounds like a routine mission, turns quickly into a fight for survival! Deadly Nam is written by Hendrik Thiele and directed by Markus Hagen. Bad acting, most of it is intentional as this is both a homage and a spoof of the Hollywood Viernam war movies such as Aaron Norris flick Platoon Leader and Cirio H. Santiagos Vietnam war movies.. Obviously some the actors have taken the parts a little more seriously, this is noticeable when looking at the actors. The camerawork and editing is pretty okay. There is some use of stock footage to complement a totally ridiculous helicopter mock-up (it´s actually shot inside mini-van) and a airplane cockpit. Add to this that we get one the  most incredible and fake mustache ever. And apparently there were not any colored people in the circle of friends who did Deadly Nam as one actors has used greasepaint or shoe polish to blacken his skin to look as a afro-american. There is some gore, blown off limbs, some juicy squibs now and then but the make-up fx highlight is, without a doubt, the napalmburn victims. There is no T & A in this.
This review is based upon the german region 2 DVD release from Ascot Elite Home Entertainment, it´s uncut and german language only.
Rating: 0½ out of 7. You get what is expected when pressing play, this is Northern Germany´s first Vietnam war movie ever and probably the last. We all the clichee´s of all the bad Vietnam b-movies and even it this is not to be taken seriously it´s to badly made to entertain.

/JL

Friday 25 January 2013

DVD review: Zombie: The Resurrection (Video 1998)


A.D.2015. The world powers destroy each other by means of bacteriological weapons. The final solution through bombing not only provides huge suffering among the population, but also raises the dead, who prowl for survivors. Always in search of flesh, blood and fresh entrails. Humanity has no chance anymore because zombies show no mercy. A D.2017. Steve (Oliver van Balen), Joe, Jill (Tanja Reiter) and Anne, two regulators and two rescued civilians manage to escape into the wilderness outside of the populated cities of the undead. There they live a miserable life in an old anti-aircraft base in the hope of rescue. Steve decides to visit one of the last intact radio towers, in an attempt to contact other survivors. But while Steve struggles through the wilderness, suddenly bloodthirsty zombies appear from everywhere. And while Steve has almost achieved his goal, his friends struggle with the last reserves of ammunition and eat rats to survive. Zombie: The Resurrection is written and directed by Holger Breiner and Torsten Lakomy. The acting is terrible, the camerawork and editing is okay but the picture quality is poor. Even if the running time is barely 60 minutes this is truly tedious experience to sit through. The gut munching scenes are prolonged and boring and their sole is to padd out the running time. Some scenes are just so absurd that you are at risk to laugh out loud. It´s very gory, but it´s really cheap amateurish fx and zombie make-up fx design is bad. There´s T & A, including full frontal nudity during a prolonged scene when one of the woman characters is skinny dipping (one more try to padd out the running time). There is also a scene where a female character is having sex but you can see her panties...
This review is based on region all (Region 0) DVD release from Delta Film Internation, it´s german language only. The DVD release is limited to 666 pieces.
Rating: 0 out of 7. Wow this was bad, there are good low budget/independently produced german splatter movies out there but this ain´t one of them. It´s boring and badly made and this DVD release is most probably aimed to cash in on the new found fan base for zombie movies, I pitty the poor devils who spend their hard earned money on this..

/JL

Thursday 24 January 2013

Review. Mara (Video 2012)


First I´d like to thank Filmkoncept for providing me with a screener.
Jenny (Angelica Jansson ) witnessed a brutal, gruesome murder as a little girl. An utterly grotesque act committed by an insane woman. A violent deed that has forever scarred Jenny. Along with four friends, Jenny -- now an adult -- returns to the scene where the murder was committed: a picturesque but secluded house in the woods. The five friends intend to have a nice time and to party, but the stay is also supposed to serve as therapy for Jenny. She wants to confront her past. What was supposed to be a relaxing weekend in the countryside becomes a blood-soaked nightmare when it turns out that the five friends aren’t alone in the house. An intruder is hiding in the shadows. Somebody unknown is out for Jenny, who desperately has to fight for her life. Mara is written by Pidde Andersson, Åke Gustafsson, Fredrik Hedberg and Jacob Kondrup and is directed by Åke Gustafsson, Fredrik Hedberg and Jacob Kondrup. The acting is pretty bad but Angelica Jansson is pretty decent and in my opinion it is perhaps a bit unfair of the filmmakers to rely so heavily on her as she makes her feature movie debut in this. On the technical side, the camera work and editing is pretty good. I got no problem with a slow build up but that´s when we get some proper payoff and in Mara we don´t get any. There is way too many flashbacks in this and they disrupt the pacing and slows everything down. Only one of the kills is gory and that´s it. There is T & A in this, topless nudity is provided by Angelica Jansson and Emelie Frantz Nilsson. But I say that I was expecting more T & A knowing that Angelica Hansson is most known as a Glamor model who has appeared in magazines such as Moore (Sweden), Slitz (Sweden), Playboy (USA) and Sunday Sports (UK).
This review is based upon a passwordprotected online screener, it has english subtitles.
Rating: 1½ out of 7. Mara had potential but ultimately fails to deliver and horror fans will be disappointed due to slow pacing, the lack off a proper payoff and the lack of kills and gore. When I discovered that there are three directors involved in the making of Mara I got worried, that is never a good sign. Then I read at IMDB that the plot of the flick was completely altered during post-production and I can´t help wonder if the original version was better.

/JL





Wednesday 23 January 2013

DVD review: Parole Violators (1994)


Myles Long (Sean Donahue) is a ex-cop and vigilante. Long has been dismissed from the police force for using violent tactics, and now spends his days tracking down parole violators and filming their discretions as evidence to put them back behind bars. When Chino, the psychotic child-molester that ultimately led to Myles´s dismissal from the force, is paroled., Myles is obsessed with putting him back in prison. To get even with Myles, though, Chino kidnaps someone close to him: his girlfriend, Tracy´s (Pamela Bosley) daughter. With Tracy anxious to join Myles on his mission, the two head out to get back her daughter and end Chino´s criminal ways once and for all. Parole Violators is written Sean Donahue and Patrick G. Donahue who also is the director. Bad acting galore, I mean there is some seriously bad acting in this. Some of the dialogue and acting is so hilarious that I laughed out loud. There is a couple of absurd scenes in this that are just jawdoppingly hilarious. There are also attempts at comic relief and cool one-liners but those are just too silly to work as they are intended. The pacing is high, it´s non stop action. We get martial arts, shootouts and carchases.  No gore in this but there are squibs and people bleed when they get hit, kicked and punched. There is no T & A in this.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Digiview Entertainment.
Rating: 2 out of 7. I have trouble giving Parole Violators a fair review as it´s so bad but very entertaining at the same time, reminiscent of David A. Prior´s Deadly Prey. Lots of action and a ton of unintentional comedy in this.

/JL

Tuesday 22 January 2013

DVD review: White Fury (1990)


Danny (Sean Holton) a champion snowboarder takes his girlfriend Christine (Christine Shinn) and his friend Greg (William Berg) and Lesley (Chasity Hammons) to a remote cabin in the snowy Colorado countryside. Tyler (Deke Anderson) and his accomplice Marcus (Michael Kaskel) are a rutlhless bank robbers on the run, they head out into the countryside to avoid the police and a bounty hunter who is hunting them. White Fury is written by John Cianetti and David A. Prior who also is the director. Bad acting dominates the flick but Deke Andersson is pretty decent as the main bad guy, there are some surprisingly bad camerawork and editing in some scenes.  White Fury has a few big problem besides the ones I´ve already mentioned, first we have the pacing which tediously slow. There are overlong scenes of snowboarding, characters playing charades and there´s a snowmobile/snowboard chase that seems to last forever. There isn´t enough action, its too far between the action scenes and the action scenes are just lame. That the action is so bleak can most probably be linked to the obviosly limited budget. There is no gore in this, not even a single juicy squib. There is no T & A in this.
This review is based upon the italian region 2 DVD release from U.S.A. Home Entertainment and it´s italian language only.
Rating: 0 out of 7. O man, this was bad, really bad! White Fury is a uninspired, overlong and boring flick. I wish it would have been gritty, violent and nasty but now it is just lackluster. Not recommended even if you are a die hard David A. Prior fan.  

/JL

Monday 21 January 2013

DVD review: Hatchetman (Video 2003)


College coed by day and a stripper by night, Claudia's (Cheryl Wagner) dream of becoming a lawyer seems within reach until her co-workers start turning up dead, victims of a brutal serial killer. Can Claudia and her friends stay alive along enough to expose the killer, or will they become the Hatchetman's next victim? Hatchetman is written & directed by Robert Tiffi. The acting ranges from bad to poor. There are moments of unintentional comedy due to bad acting, some awkward situations and bad dialogue. On the technical side the camerework and editing is good. There are no thrills or atmosphere in this and despite the potential of the topic this is áctually pretty boring. To my great surprise the gore is limited to one scene where a character gets her throat slit, beside that scene, which I believe is computer rendered, we have to make do with blood splashing over nearby objects. As expected, from the plot, we get gratuitous T & A from several actresses and plenty of scenes of striptease most of which are unsexy and are sure to put you to sleep. Just too bad that most the girls aren't that attractive but I must say that Nina Tapanin and Cheryl Wagner as college coeds by day and strippers by night are very pleasant to the eyes. But while almost all other females provide nudity the cutie Cheryl Wagner manages keep her clothes on throughout the flick (pretty sure that a body double is used in the prolonged shower scene and during the sex scene she has).
This review is based upon the Swedish region 2 DVD release from Nordisk Film. It has swedish, danish, finnish and norwegian subtitles.
Rating: 1½ out of 7. What a disappointment this is. Not considering some of the already mentioned flaws I must say that Hatchetman would have been much better if they given the kills the same amount of attention as they so lovingly give to the T & A of the female castmembers. This movie is in dire need of graphic/on screen kills as it in its present shape fails to entertain even the most forgiving slasher fan.

/JL



Review: 'Safehouse' (2011)


A gang of petty thieves are chased and penned into their hideout by the police after a job-gone-wrong. They soon find themselves unwillingly becoming live 'test subjects' for a new, high-tech police weapon. 'Safehouse' is written and directed by Ryan Braund. The acting ranges from bad to pretty decent. The camerawork and editing is pretty good considering the fact that this was made in a very tight budget. The soundtrack is good. The pacing is pretty decent. It´s pretty violent with several shoot outs but sadly the action sequences aren´t very well made but I must say that I´ve seen far worse. There is no gore in this, there is very brief computer rendered squibs in one scene and I must say that this is a huge disapppointment. That scene, which reminded me somewhat of the famous ED-209 test that goes wrong in the classic Robocop movie, could have been so great but now it falls flat. Add to this that almost all kills are off screen but I guess that this is due to the very limited budget. The new police weapon is actually pretty cool, especially considering that it has been designed on a shoestring budget but some of its abilities are a bit far fetched (I won´t go into spoilers). There is no T & A in this.
This review is based upon a public online source uploaded by the filmmakers on youtube
Rating: 1½ out of 7. Even if it has its flaws you gotta admire the ambition and effort put into this. it´s been in the making for two and a half years (most of the flick was made in the summer of 2010) and is made on a budget of approx 800 USD (current currency).

/JL


Sunday 20 January 2013

Review: Scream Park (2012)



First I´d like to thank Cary Hill for providing me with a screener.
Fright Land amusement park is closing down for the last time. Lack of business and interest have lead to poor sales and no profit. The crew is having one last party but they soon discover that they aren´t alone in the park. Scream Park is written and directed by Cary Hill. The acting is decent. The camerawork and editing is good and there are some really cool and inventive imagery on display here (really would like to mention specific scenes but can´t due to spoilers). The park is a nice location, it has been used earlier so for slasherfans it is a familiar setting. The soundtrack is nice. The pacing is good with a slow build up where all the characters are introduced, if you´re familiar with the slasher genre you´ll recognize them from many other flicks. It´s quite evident that the makers are fond of the 1980s slashers and their love is showing on screen.
It´s violent and there is some gore, practical make-up fx, but I do have to say that it wasn´t as graphic as I was expecting. I would like to mention that the look, mask and clothing, of the killers is really cool. There is some brief female topless nudity in this, provided by one of the characters.
This review is based upon a passwordprotected online screener.
Rating: 5½ out of 7. I liked this, it is good addition to the slasher genre, it follows the formula and feels "safe". In my opinion Scream Park is a decent slasher, it´s very much in the vein of the 1980s slashers of which it celeberates and I would recommend it to slasher fans.

/JL




Saturday 19 January 2013

Review: Wither (2012)


First I´d like to thank Tommy Wiklund for providing me with a screener.
Ida (Lisa Henni) and Albin (Patrick Almkvist) are a happy couple. They set off to a cabin in the vast Swedish woodlands to have a fun holiday with their friends. But under the floorboards waits an evil from Sweden's dark past. Wither is written by David Liljeblad, Tommy Wiklund and Sonny Laguna who also are the directors. The acting is good, it´s professionally shot and edited and looks very nice. With the visuals being very good and combined with the location being a cabin far away in the dark woods it does get dark and creepy. There is a nice creepy atmosphere in this, most of the flick takes place at during a rainy night which in my opinion is a great move on behalf of the filmmakers. The soundtrack is very good.  Another good thing is that the filmmakers have decided to avoid comic relief, this is a horror flick. The special effects, make-up and gore, are excellent!! It´s a blend of practical and computer rendered fx. Gorehounds are gonna love this, it´s cavalcade of blood and guts with several scenes that qualify as high lights. Seriously there are several scenes in this that makes bigger budgeted features pale in comparison. I wanna say that I love the look of the possessed, the make-up fx design for them is great. The creature make-up fx design is also very nice. There´s no T & A in this, which is kinda sad as the female castmembers are very attractive.
Wither has secured DVD distribution in Germany, USA and Sweden.
This review is based upon a passwordprotected online screener, it has swedish audio and english subtitles.
Rating: 7 out of 7. I enjoyed this tremendously, Wither is a great creepy ride that delivers the chills and thrills that we fans of horror movies want. According to the filmmakers they had a budget of approx 46 000 USD (according to current currency) and every dollar is on screen, it is quite incredible how good Wither looks. On a final note, I´m so pleased to finally see a good swedish horror flick. It makes me proud.

/JL





Wednesday 16 January 2013

DVD review: Graveyard of the Dead (2009)


Buitrago (Soria), 1976. Jorge arrives in search of his sister, Miranda, and the people of the area beware him about the evil nature of the place. In the same place, in 1311, the templars are the masters of life and death, killing virgins in an attempt to fulfil their eternal life purposes. In 1976 again, Jorge finds Miranda, but she seems to have lost her mind, and she finally runs away. A few days before, Miranda, in her house, is sexually harassed by her father and mistreated by her authoritarian mother, until she locks off in her room. Back in hte Middle age, the templars caught a young girl who looks a lot like Miranda, and when she is about to be sacrificed, a group of villagers kills the templars, hanging their leader. But, before dying, she swears to come back...  Graveyard of the Dead is written and directed by Vick Campbell. The acting is just horrible, the movie is badly shot and edited and features bad audio in some scenes. Even if Graveyard of the Dead has a running time of 72 minutes it is excruciatingly boring and some scenes seems to last forever. The filmmakers seem to have a total lack of sense when it comes to pacing. There is some very amateurish gore that look bad and lacks any impact. Some kills take place off screen. The make-up design for the undead templars is actually pretty decent even if it looks like simple masks bought at a novelty shop. There is brief topless nudity in this, there is a lame sex scene. It does have sleaze as Miranda´s father keep making sexual advances towards her and later on there is incest as he rapes her in a prolonged scene
This review is based upon the region all (Region 0) release from Sinerama Films. It has english subtitles.
Rating: 0 out of 7. Oh my god this was f*cking horrible. Viewing this was a tedious and excruciating experience. I have serious trouble finding a single redeeming thing to say about this except that it´s finally over after just 72 minutes. This is a good example of inept filmmaking, in my opinion they could have at least tried to compensate their lack of talent by pouring on lots of T & A and gore.... This was horrible.. just horrible... 
And yeah, some of you might be wondering, this is, of course, intended as a homage to Amando de Ossorio´s Blind Dead films


/JL



Review: Saturday Morning Massacre (2012)


First I´d like to thank Jason Wehling for providing me with a screener.
A team of amateur paranormal investigators struggles to make ends meet by debunking reports of supernatural incidents. With the group on the verge of bankruptcy, they take on a case involving rumors of suspicious disappearances and violent deaths linked with the abandoned Kyser schoolhouse. Discounting stories of satanic practices, the team proceeds, desperately chasing cash and the opportunity to... fulfill their lives’ mission – to catch a real ghost. On a tour guided by the local sheriff, the crew learns of the schoolhouse’s gruesome past, and despite the sheriff’s advice to spend the night in a hotel, they decide to stay. They set up their gear and prepare for nightfall, and when the sun goes down, the truth comes out: the Kyser house might actually be haunted by sadistic spirits – or something even worse. Saturday Morning Massacre is written by Jory Balsimo, Kat Candler, Aaron Leggett, Jonny Mars and Jason Wehling. It is directed by Spencer Parsons.  The acting is really good, there is a good and believable chemistry between  the characters. It is professionally shot and edited and it looks downright fantastic. The visuals are really great, the editing and visuals are top notch! The soundtrack is really good! The location and setting is great. There is a truly suspenseful atmosphere throughout the flick, there are a few twists and turns in the movie and I liked them all. Saturday Morning Massacre is gory and it is goodlooking gore special effects but I won´t go into any details due to the risk of spoilers. There is gratuitous T & A courtesy of Josephine Decker and a long sex scene featuring her and her on screen boyfriend.
This review is based upon a passwordprotected online screener.
Rating: 7 out 7. Saturday Morning Massacre was amazing. It is well made, scary and gory.
I´m sure, as early as the 16th of january of 2013 when I´m writing this review, that Saturday Morning Massacre will be on my top ten of the best flicks I`ve seen during 2013. Fantastically good stuff here!! Be sure to check it out!!

/JL

Tuesday 15 January 2013

DVD review: Nightbeast (1982)



An alien with an appetite for blood and disembowelment is set loose on a small town when its spacecraft crashes and explodes. When sheriff Jack Cinder (Tom Griffith) and the local militia arrive on scene to investigate, a violent battle ensues, leaving only Jack, his sensuous lady deputy and a wild-eyed redneck and survivors. With a corrupt mayor unwilling to stand up against the Nightbeast’s reign of carnage and destruction, it’s up to Jack to evacuate the townsfolk and save the day! Nightbeast is written and directed by Don Dohler. The acting is bad and in some instances quite awful but there is hardly a dull moment in this, actually the pacing is skyhigh, so there is not much depth to the characters instead we get one setpiece after another. There is not much plot or logic in this, the characters mostly act or react to things happening. The camerawork and editing is pretty decent. The electronic soundtrack is nice. It´s gory as the alien disembowels, rips off heads and arms of its victims. It is, off course, all practical fx. The bodycount is skyhigh but some kills do occur off screen. Most of the make-up fx looks good. The alien make-up fx design is pretty cool and I love that it is a man in suit effect! When the Nightbeast doesn´t use his hands to tear peoplpe apart he favors a raygun. There´s gratuitous T & A, almost all of it provided by the cute MILF Karin Kardian, and we get a prolonged sexscene between two of the main characters which is unintentionally laugh out loud cheesy.
This review is based upon the region all (region 0) DVD release from Troma Entertainment.
Rating: 3½ out of 7. Honestly it´s a bit hard for me to give a fair rating as I truly enjoyed this nonstop joyride, as it´s extremely entertaining and charming with gore, aliens, gratuitous MILF nudity and decent fx. But the acting is pretty terrible, the plotholes are so big that you´d probably be able to cruise Titanic through them, the camerawork and editing is pretty decent. Definitely one to check out if you enjoy low budget and obscure horror

/JL




DVD review: Savage Harvest (Video 1994)



Years ago, a Cherokee elder summoned into our world an evil that eventually destroyed his entire tribe. Now, on the land that was once inhabited by the tribe, the demonic forces await the return of this long-dead Cherokee elder When these demons sense the arrival of the elders´s descendent, they gain the ability to possess human beings. A small group of innocent people trapped on the land must unlock the riddles left behind by the Cherokee elder. Demonic possession consumes one victim after another as showers of blood drench the eart and shrieks of pain echo throughout the forest. The possessed are animalistic, frenzied killing machines, feeding on the warm meat of fresh kills! Savage Harvest is written, shot, edited and directed by Eric Stanze. The acting is weak while the camerawork and editing is good and creative. The soundtrack is quite good and helps create a frantic/scary mood during the attacks. Savage Harvest has a surprisingly slow build up, it takes some time (around 30 minutes) for the horror and carnage to begin but once it kicks in it turns into gorefeast. As usual with Stanze there is a nice atmospheric sense over the proceedings, the location and setting is good (other examples of this are his flicks Scrapbook and Deadwood Park that are both literally oozing with atmosphere) and there are some effective scares.  It´s gory and the make-up fx looks good and there are a couple of set pieces that are quite impressive. The demonic-possessed make-up fx design is cool and reminiscent of Sergio Stivaletti´s design in Lamberto Bava´s Demons. There is no T & A in this.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Image Entertainment
Rating: 6 out of 7. Savage Harvest is entertaining and a impressive first effort from Eric Stanze, it was his first feature film and made on a shoestring budget. I´m sure it will satisfy most gorehounds looking for graphic carnage, and I recommend this to fans of Stanze and independent horror.
 
 
/JL



Monday 14 January 2013

DVD review: Deadwood Park (2007)


The small community of Eidolon Crossing once boasted a flourishing economy and great prosperity, fueled by Dogwood Park, and amusement park at the edge of the town. Then the childmurders began. When the first child´s corpse was discovered at Dogwood Park, the town knew that they been pulled into horrible nightmare. As more murdered children were unearthed on the amusement park, property, attendence began to decline. Finally, the macabre publicity shut the park down entirely. Dogwood Park was abandoned. The old amusement park became known as "Deadwood Park" by the locals. Eidolon Crossing quickly withered into poverty. Over the course of 35 years, 26 children disappeared at the hans of the elusive murderer. In 1979, Jake Richardson´s little brother Francis was the last of the children to be abducted. Jake (William Clifton) and his parents moved away from Eidolon Crossing shortly thereafter. Now an adult, Jake is drawn back to Eidolon Crossing, the town where his brother was taken from him. The spirits of the many murdered children begin to contact Jake. He glimpses  them in the shadows of his house. He hears them whisper in the darkness of the surrounding farmland. Jake is led back to the abandoned Deadwood Park. Here, in this decaying park, Jake will unlock the horrible secrets of this sinister, blood-soaked town. Deadwod Park is written by Jessie Seitz and Eric Stanze who also is the director, cameraman and editor. The acting is mostly good, the camerawork and editing is nice. I must give special praise for the locations and setting which are fantastic. The soundtrack is unsettling and fantastic. The atmosphere is great in this, Stanze and his crew has performed miracles on a tight budget. There are a numerous flashbacks providing the backstory and clues. The pacing is slow which might put some viewers off.  There is some gore, practical make-up fx, but I fear that gorehounds might be disappointed as this flick is more about mood/atmosphere than blood and guts. There is no T & A in this.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Cinema Epoch.
Rating: 7 out of 7. Deadwood Park is really good, the set design and the locations are great! And I feel the need to once again to mention the soundtrack which is fantastic! Deadwood Park has great atmosphere and there are scenes that really oozes of creepines. Deadwood Park gets my strongest recommendations and it is yet another hallmark in Eric Stanze´s career as a fimmaker.

/JL

Sunday 13 January 2013

News update: The Cemetery from Adversary Films


From the creative team behind Cross Bearer (2012) comes The Cemetery, it´s written and directed by Adam Ahlbrandt.  Deep in the Pennsylvania hills, a cemetery for those who died during exorcism remains a dark secret for the church. In 1671, hundreds of men, women, and children suffered in bloody, torturous rituals at the hands of priests unable to contain the evil of the possessed. Were these possessions real, or is the story a hoax to cover up the sins of the deranged priests thirsty for human blood? Bill (J.D. Brown) and his team of cynical paranormal investigators plan to find out the truth. As the producer and host of the reality TV show “Ghost Seekers,” Bill and his crew have seen it all: abandoned prisons, haunted houses, and decrepit mental hospitals. Night after night of boring trips to empty run down buildings has left them sure that the dead stay dead and that ghosts are the furthest thing from being real. Their lack of faith will soon be repaid in blood. Armed with the church’s historical record, they set out into the wilderness to uncover this series of forgotten atrocities. The demons of the past are invited to return and the gory details of old sins are revealed as the possessed begin hunting the living. 
I´ll bring you more information about The Cemetery as it becomes available.

/JL





Saturday 12 January 2013

Review: Cross Bearer (2012)



First I´d like to thank Adam Ahlbrandt for providing me with a screener.
Heather (Natalie Jean) is broke. She has a soul sucking job as a stripper. Her live-in girlfriend Victoria (Victoria DePaul) has a baby and a coke problem. Her boss Harry (J.D. Brown) is an abusive maniac. Life cannot get much worse…or so she thought. Determined to get out of this living hell, Heather and her lover, Bunny (Kacie Marie), plan to rip off Harry, ditch Victoria, and leave town to live out their days on the Greek islands in peaceful bliss. One big score is all they need, and Harry gives them the opportunity when he asks them to take care of a drug deal with one of his clients at an old warehouse. As Heather and her friends arrive, everything seems to be going fine until they make a grizzly discovery and are trapped inside by a rambling, religious maniac hell-bent on purifying the Earth of its sins through murder and destruction. Armed with a carpenter’s hammer and a fanatic passion, the Cross Bearer (Isaac Williams) hunts Heather and her friends down one-by-one in a sadistic crusade to burn clean the filth of the world. Heather’s dreams are shattered and if she survives nothing will ever be the same. Cross Bearer is written, directed, shot and edited by Adam Ahlbrandt. The acting is good, it´s professionally shot and edited and I love the sets, especially the old warehouse which is used to good effect by the filmmakers. The movie has a nice gritty/dirty feel to it. The soundtrack is good and the pacing is excellent. The Cross Bearer is a imposing and vicious killer and I love that he is played straight, there ain´t no irritating comedic one-liners in this.
It´s very gory, one of the highlights can be described with 3 small words: Hammer Smashed Face... It´s all practical fx and it looks great. There is plenty of T & A in this.
Support independent horror and get your copy at http://www.adversaryfilms.com/ .
This review is based upon a screener supplied by the filmmakers.
Rating: 7 out of 7. Cross Bearer is great! I enjoyed it immensely, it delievers what I was expecting after seeing the poster (which is awesome) and more. It´s well made, has a good plot, graphic kills, T & A and a imposing and vicious killer. Cross Bearer gets my highest recommendations! Slasher fans and gorehounds are gonna love this! I hope to see more from Adam Ahlbrandt soon.

/JL


Friday 11 January 2013

DVD review: Timo Rose's Beast (2009)


When Alex (Joe Zaso) returns home with a uncontrollable rage building inside of him his sister (Raine Brown) knows that something is wrong. Little do they realize, but their paths are about to violently cross with another afflicted man (Andreas Pape), being tracked by two obsessive werewolf hunters (Timo Rose and Joe Davison). When these parties clash, the result is a wild,unrelenting bloodbath unlike anything ever seen! Timo Rose's Beast is written and directed by Timo Rose. The acting is fairly decent but Joe Zaso and especially Raine Brown are good. The camerawork and editing is pretty good, some scenes are very dark but I´m thankful that they shot those scenes at night instead of opting to use a blue filter as some filmmakers do (which looks like shit). There are some examples of some really silly and moronic dialogue in this, just awfully bad. Some scenes feels like attempts to padd out the running time. The soundtrack is very good.
The actionscenes are uneven but two of the fight scenes are great and violent, I especially liked the fight between Raine Brown and Andreas Pape where it looks like they truly are beating the shit out of each other. Nice fight choreography there, it´s nothing fancy just gritty and savage, and one of the true highlights of Timo Rose's Beast. This flick isn´t as gory as I expected but don´t worry there is blood and guts for all the gorehounds. Most of the gore are practical make-up fx, most of it looks good but there are some computer rendered gore which looks pretty bad. The werewolf design is pretty good. There is brief T & A in this and I must say that it was quite a dissapointment to see that Raine Brown is wearing bikini when she´s getting up out of a bathtub. Joe Zaso provides some eyecandy for the ladies.
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Cinema Image Productions, it´s uncut and features english, german, spanish and italian subtitles.
Rating: 1½ out of 7.  Timo Rose's Beast feels a bit unfocused and has a few flaws, after a strong start it sadly takes some time before we get to see the werewolf again and there is too little gore but the gore that is on screen is good..

/JL



Thursday 10 January 2013

DVD review: Season of the Hunted (2003)


Five regular guys from Long Island, NY head out on a boys weekend to upstate New York for a weekend of bow hunting. Steve (Timothy Gibbs), a New York fireman (post 9/11), organizes the trip for a much needed R & R. It turns sour when their hosts turn out to be a cult group of cannibal hunters. After realizing our boys ARE the hunted, Steve survives the struggle of his life and returns home to Long Island safely to his pregnant wife with the help of his friend Frank (Muse Watson). Frank calls on his black-ops Vietnam training, while struggling with his own issues, to get them out alive. Season of the Hunted is written by Phil Faicco and is directed by Ron Sperling. The acting is pretty good, especially from Muse Watson and Timothy Gibbs. The camerawork and editing is good but there are some awfully bad scenes that are supposed to represent Frank´s flashbacks to the Vietnam war. There are also a some fight choreography that is something of a dissapointment but I won´t go into any details due to the risk of spoilers. The pacing is good and we get to know the characters before things kick off. There is some gore, mostly related to arrows and the make-up fx is decent. But this could have been far more graphic/gorier when you consider how some of the characters are getting killed. Season of the Hunted starts off a with a sex scene which is very soft and there is only some brief T and A in this,
This review is based upon the region 1 DVD release from Lionsgate Home Entertainment, it has english and spanish subtitles.
Rating: 5 out of 7. As a big fan of backwoods survival flicks I really enjoyed Season of the Hunted, it is quite predictable but it´s entertaining, pretty well made and quite violent. I just wish that it had been a bit gorier as there are several kills that could have been more graphic.

/JL

Wednesday 9 January 2013

DVD review: Nikos the Impaler (Video 2003)


All of Romania feared Nikos (Andreas Schnass), a bloodthirsty barbarian and cannibal, murderer of many. But one moonlit night, a courageous few, with torches clutched in their hands, put the ungodly monster to an end. Yet, with his dying words, the maniacal Nikos claimed not even death would stop him. Now, centuries later, at Manhattan´s famed Bancroft Gallery, a spectacular  Romanian art exhibition is in full swing, and all the beautiful people are there. But a botched robbery attempt has accidentally brought the monster back from the dead, and as the legend foretold, Nikos is hungry for blood! Nikos the Impaler is written by Ted Geoghegan and Andreas Schnass who also is the director. Awful acting but the camerawork and editing is decent. The pacing is pretty slow at first and it seems to take forever for things to get going but after that it is almost an nonstop gorefeast and in a wacky display of comedy Nikos is joined by ninjas, a vampire and Adolf Hitler towards the end ..
Nikos the Impaler delivers the over the top gore, it´s all practical fx. Most of it looks good but there are a couple of off screen kills. There are some computer rendered visual fx, most notably when a car explodes. The design for Nikos is pretty decent but his armour and sword looks like something someone would have at a Dungeons And Dragons convention.There is a gratuitous shower scene with Darrien Cane that provides plenty of T & A and full frontal nudity. And the same scene but full uncut is also included in the special features and it runs a total of 7 minutes which means even more T & A and gratuitous full frontal nudity.
This review is based upon the region 0 (region all) DVD release from Schnass Film Gmbh, it´s uncut and has german, english and spanish subtitles.
Rating: 1 out of 7. Nikos the Impaler is somewhat of an improvement compared to Andreas Schnass earlier efforts although that ain´t saying too much as those were abysmally bad. I can only recommend this to fans of over the top gore flicks.

/JL